Feeling Normal....

I have just finished reading Debbie S. and Angel R.'s blogs. Normally, I don't read anyone else's blogs just before I blog myself so as not to be influenced or be redundant of what someone else has said. But tonight, I must say, they both blessed my heart and I've just got to comment.

Debbie S. admitted some hidden truths. NO, they weren't anything of the "OMG CALL THE LAW" type or anything....just small stuff. But the "stuff" she admitted are things we all tend to hide or say don't bother us or deny that we do. Again, nothing horrible or anything, just small, even silly stuff, but truths about ourselves that we often don't want to divulge. I saw myself in what she wrote and it felt good.....you know....good like how it feels when you climb into bed between fresh newly washed sheets and pull your favorite soft blanket up over you. THAT kind of good.

And then there was Angel R.'s blog, filled with "what if's" about 2010. She blessed my heart with her boldness regarding her children and her yearning for more of Christ and what could happen if she spent more time eating His Manna. Gosh, it was good.

After reading their blogs, I'm FEELING NORMAL, which doesn't happen often for me!! FEELING NORMAL seems to be something I've never really strived for as I've always felt since I was a child that I "marched to the beat of a different drummer." I didn't want to look like or be like everyone else, I just wanted to be myself. I didn't care if I fit in or not, I just wanted to be me. I'm not sure who that drummer is or what he believed, but I KNEW he was, well......different and so am I. But tonight, for a few moments, I'm FEELING NORMAL and for a few minutes, it felt rather good to "fit in" with others who are "different" and have some of the same thoughts, feelings and hidden stuff just like me.

Thanks ladies....it felt good to be normal for a few moments! LOVE YOU BOTH!

There Is an Unseen Danger

Those of you who know me well, know that it is barely within my capabilities to think of any animal being killed.....and I DO mean, almost any animal. I don't know why and I refuse to try to explain it to those who do not understand me. It is as I have always been, all my life, an animal lover.

And so it is, that I find myself living in a house with a wonderful backyard that is overrunning with squirrels. I love watching them and nearly had one trained (at Mary's desire) to come within a couple feet of me for a peanut this past summer. But now, here we are with WAY too many squirrel nests, appearance of nesting in our attic, a "squirrel proof" bird feeder nearly ruined by their gnawing and little holes dug everywhere, including Darrel's tomato plants AND my orange trees. Even I, am not believing that I have agreed with Darrel that the squirrels have got to go. It still even seems very odd and sad feeling in my heart that I could/would say that, but it is true.

Darrel has been on high alert, watching for squirrels, sneaking out the front door and tiptoeing around to the back for a sneak attack. It was as I watched him creep around the back that I thought about this blog. "THERE IS AN UNSEEN DANGER," I thought, and the unsuspecting squirrels don't even know he's coming.

We may have the keenest eyesight on the planet, our hearing may be ultrasonic and our senses more perceptive than the smartest squirrel, but...

THERE IS AN UNSEEN DANGER.

It lurks behind every bush, hides in every corner and waits as long as is necessary to slay the unknowing. For the squirrels, the dangers name is Darrel, but for us....

His name is satan, the devil, beelzebub. He walks gently, quietly choosing the path of his steps to his unsuspecting victim. He preys on the weak, the lonely, the secure, the proud, the content. He waits and he watches until the moment is right, till the guard of his prey is let down and then he lurches with claws of steel and teeth of diamond sharpness. His grip is relentless and his intentions purposeful. He will attack and attack and attack.

THERE IS AN UNSEEN DANGER.......and he is lurking even now.

It's Not for Me to Question Why

As I prayed for my sister today, I found myself saying the above words..."IT'S NOT FOR ME TO QUESTION WHY." But, still, I do. I know God is in control, but I am flesh and my mind wishes I could understand it all on this side of heaven.

Tonight, I ask those few of you who read these postings, to continue to pray for my sister. She will begin chemo a week from today, January 4. The radiation will begin the following day and it is my understanding at this moment that it will continue daily for 6-8 weeks.

IT'S NOT FOR ME TO QUESTION WHY but it IS for me to pray. I humbly ask those who read this, to do the same, if I may so humbly ask. Thank you and may God bless you. Also, thank you to Donna Y. for inquiring about my sister and asking for updates to be posted here. Thank you to all of you who love me and care about my family. I cherish you.

His Bible Cover

"I can't wait till it gets dark so I can go to bed and get up and go to church with my new BIBLE COVER."

Precious words spoken by my 6 year old grandson. I can see him in his home today, deciding what he was going to carry within the cover. His little tablet with pen, of course, had to go inside and whatever else he may have decided was most important for him to carry in it.

HIS BIBLE COVER brought a smile to his face that I shall long treasure. When he opened it yesterday, the grin stretched across his darling face....."It's what I wanted Yaya...remember when I told you??"

As millions of gifts were opened across this country yesterday and probably many many millions of dollars spent, one little boy was thrilled with HIS BIBLE COVER.

How wonderful that one little boy could be so thrilled with something so insignificant.

My heart is full.

It is Better to Give than to Get

These words, spoken by my 9 year old granddaughter, are truly the heart of the matter as this Christmas day comes to a close.

I pray that the Lord has found my giving worthy of Him. I pray that I have thought enough of Christ and His passionate love for me, that I gave deeply and sincerely and in His honor.

My heart grieves for those who are hungry, cold and alone, not just in this season, but always. God, I pray your sufficiency on those who need you most.

Truly, IT IS BETTER THAN TO GIVE THAN TO GET. Burden me Father so that I give freely of all that You have given me.

Seek, Save and Serve

He came here to SEEK, SAVE AND SERVE the lost, the hungry, the proud, the rich, the weak, the poor, the lonely, the black man, the scared, the selfish, the asian child, the intelligent, the sick, the white woman, the diseased, the young, the dumb, the old......

His mission was simple, unobtrusive, sometimes even unnoticed but His mission was purpose driven. His intent was focused on one thing....His Father and doing His will.

'Selflessly' He sought out those who needed Him AND those who didn't think they did. 'Boldly' He sought out the lost who had no hope of heaven because of their separation from Christ. 'Willingly' He served all He came in contact with. It was what drove Him. He humbled Himself.....this man who would later walk the road to Calvary in my place, humbled Himself for all.

SEEK, SAVE AND SERVE........This humble man of earth and heaven has changed me this year. He's forced me into corners I did not want to hide in, I would have chosen other places to run to, but He gave me little choice. He had already chosen it for me. He's shown me more about Him than I can even comprehend. It will take me many months to continue to chew on all that He has thrown at me, but it was all in His plan.

I'm thankful this sweet baby whom we call Jesus, came to SEEK, SAVE AND SERVE. He knew my name even then. Even as His first cries broke the silence of the night, my name was on His mind. As Mary hushed his tiny cry and drew Him to her breast, somewhere, all of us were on the mind of this little one. He would grow to accomplish His Father's will....to SEEK, SAVE AND SERVE. GLORY TO HIS NAME!

Their Names....

DJ & Sheryl, Butch & Kay, Summer & Dale, Coleby, Kyle, Blake, Charlie, Bradlie, Natalie, Ashley, Kayla, Lindsey, Amber, Madison, Butch, Karli, Easton, Titus and Will.

These are THEIR NAMES.....

These are the ones who my mind is stayed on.....these are THEIR NAMES...my children, their spouses and all my grandchildren. These names represent my life, who I am, what defines me....woman, wife, mother, grandmother.

Every single day of the year, their names are in my heart and on my mind but especially at this time of year, a yearning deep inside consumes me with love and deep emotion for each of them. Some, I have not seen for many years and I grieve the loss of them in my life.

These are THEIR NAMES. I love them so but more than anything, I wish them Jesus this Christmas season.

Checkin' It Twice

If you're even a little like me, that phrase always makes us think of one thing......

Santa Claus and his infamous list.

But right now, less than a week away from the day we celebrate the giving of Jesus to the world, I'm checkin' a list alright, but it isn't Santa's.

There are a couple of things bothering me this season, issues of my own, issues that I need to get resolved in my heart. How can I worship Him completely when a little piece of my heart is not right where it should be with Him? I'm stewing about a couple of issues that I'm trying to resolve.....that's why I'm doing some checkin' but it's not Santa's list........

It's the list of junk that I hold on to, not wanting to let go of. It's the junk that should be gone but resurfaces loudly sometimes. It raises up its' ugliness and taunts me till I give in to it.

I'm CHECKIN' IT TWICE right now......my heart, my mind, my thoughts. In reality, I should be checkin' that list daily. I'm sick of this same old stuff still being on the list. It's time to cross some things off.

Holy Ground

"This is HOLY GROUND....
We're standing on HOLY GROUND....
For the Lord is here....
And where He is, is holy....
This is HOLY GROUND....
We're standing on HOLY GROUND
For the Lord is here.....
And where He is, is holy."

THIS worship song describes how I felt as I stepped out of my car last night when I went to church. After being gone for a week, away from my church and my church family, I was overcome as I walked onto what I feel, is HOLY GROUND. By the time I hit the foyer doors, the tears began to flow. I hugged a couple people, looked for Debbie S to hug me through, but headed to the bathroom when I couldn't find her. The tears began and I couldn't contain it. I was just so thankful to be amongst Believers who love and serve a holy God, as I. There just don't seem to be appropriate words for the emotions that fell out of my heart as I walked on the precious HOLY GROUND of our church. How grateful I was when Dayle M. found me in the bathroom. She did what all fellow Believers do....she hugged me, encouraged me, loved on me and showed me Jesus.

HOLY GROUND.....we do not appreciate what we share in Christ until it is outside of our reach, our touch, our ears.

I sing praises to the King of All tonight for His people here in this county. Oh how I missed you all and oh how fortunate I am to be a part of RRC fellowship.
HOLY GROUND......thanking YOU GOD, for where YOU are, is HOLY.

We Can't Go Back

Today, my sisters and I recreated a scenario that happened some 52 or so years ago....

The three of us took a picture with Santa at the mall! YEP....we placed ourselves in the picture just as we had been 50 something years ago (as you see in this OLD picture!!!) and had our picture made! What a precious memory this will be in the years ahead of us.

But today, I thought....

WE CAN'T GO BACK to those days when we were 4, 9 & 11. Those days of innocence, unacountability and those days of ignorance, too, are now gone. I didn't know much then, after all, I was only 4, but now, at 56, I am accountable and aware of my life, my actions, my words, my living and my giving.

What is most important now, is most certainly, not what was most important to me back then. For back then, MYSELF was what was most important. But now....I see through different eyes.

I see now, through the eyes of my Savior, my Lord, my King....MY JESUS. The One who died for me. Everything is different now. My life belongs to Him, not to me.

WE CAN'T GO BACK, I thought today....WE CAN'T GO BACK. Those years are gone, they are but a memory to us all. Forward is the only direction we can go and all I know to say is that I am so thankful that "in the going forward" in my life, I go with My Jesus.

Expiration Dates

Everything has an EXPIRATION DATE......at least anything that is edible or that breathes, be it plant or animal. As usual, when I heard and thought about these two words together, it got me to thinking.

Although our EXPIRATION DATE is not stamped on our foreheads, it IS there whether we see it or not. There will come a day that all those products in our grocery stores, if they're edible, will expire.

So will we.

One day, will be our last day. With cans of edible foods in our grocery stores, we can visually see when any particular food expires. But with people, we cannot see nor know when our last day will be. There is no visual expiration date that our eyes can behold stamped anywhere on our bodies. Only God Himself knows this date. It is up to us to be "used up" before we expire.

USED UP you may ask???? Yep.....just like we empty out a can of veggies to be enjoyed, used up for their purpose, so it should be with we human beings. We were placed here for a purpose....to be "used up" BUT, for HIS GLORY and HONOR.

What about you? Admit it or not, you do have an EXPIRATION DATE. Isn't it time that you allow yourself to be "used up" for God's glory before your EXPIRATION DATE comes up? It could be sooner than you think.

What Present Will You Bring?

A very short trip to the mall yesterday got me to thinking. As I watched the MANY shoppers amassing their treasures, my stomach churned. "What are all these people "really" thinking about???? It is not my place to judge, but I did wonder. As they pushed and shoved their way in to the sale tables and barked out their commands to one another that they got there first....I just wanted to cry. Everywhere I looked, arms were loaded down with packages and shoppers hurried from one store to another to buy their presents. How many of them will be used, appreciated, necessary and most of all, charged on credit cards that are already maxed out.

Is this what the world thinks Christmas is all about??? Is this where the treasure of Christmas lies....in presents???? Is it in seeing who can spend the most, get the most and charge the most?? Demanding children shout out to their parents what they want. All the while, children across this planet are crying simply for lack of food...NOT lack of PS3's and some pair of jeans that has a logo on it.

WHAT PRESENT WILL YOU BRING to the King of Kings this year? What area of your character, personality, talents, finances, time, prayer will you give to Jesus this year? Forget about how much you can spend this year and how many presents you're going to give your husband, your children, your grandchildren......how about focusing on how many presents you will give to Jesus this year.

WHAT PRESENT WILL YOU BRING to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords? Will what you lay at His feet be an acceptable gift? Would He be pleased with what you have wrapped up to lay at His feet? What will you give? My bank account cannot handle much but my heart? Well.......there is an endless supply of gifts that could be given to my King. Let us look at our own hearts this Christmas and bring an offering to our Lord and Savior.

The Answer, My Friend, Is Blowin In The Wind....

For those of you who are as old as me, you might remember the lyrics to this song by Bob Dylan, "Blowin In The Wind." This song came to my mind as I was landing in Pittsburgh last night......

As we were boarding in Atlanta, the man who sat down beside me was speaking with his wife on the phone. I couldn't help but overhear as he said, "Don't worry honey, it'll be fine, it's ok, I'll be fine. Don't worry." He told her he loved her and said his goodbyes and turned off his cell. Immediately, he looked at me and said...."Well, we're gonna be landing in 70 mile an hour winds!!!! I know my eyes must have gotten as big as half dollars as I heard the words come out of his mouth! "WHAT" was my reply!

I thought to myself, now Lord, You already know all about this. You know where I'm going and why I'm heading there. SURELY you wouldn't let 70 mph winds keep me from my destination (spiritually & physically!). And then I began to think about this song and LITERALLY, how true it was....

THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND, IS BLOWIN IN THE WIND....man....THE ANSWER sure enough IS blowin in that wind out there....not only is HE blowin in the wind....HE IS THE WIND! The very one who was allowing the gales of winds to blow and the temperature to dip into the teens is the very same One in whom I have placed ALL my trust. I am so small, so ignorant and so unimportant on this planet. I am but a speck of dust and yet He loves me. He knew right where I was....on a plane headed to Pittsburgh to be at my sisters side. He knew.......the winds could blow with all their might but that wouldn't mean He wasn't in control! HE'S the Maker of the wind so why should I fret.

Tonight, as I get ready to snuggle into my hotel room bed and I can hear the wind still howling outside, as I saw the snow fall incredibly beautifully for hours today and as I bundled up just to cross the street....I was reminded that He is in control of it all.....the wind, the snow, our lives, our very breath. I'm thankful for the sound of the wind tonight as it allows me to "hear" the sound of His love for me and remind me that HE is the Keeper of it all.

Goodnight Jesus.....I love you and truly, there is NO doubt...."THE ANSWER" MY FRIEND IS BLOWIN IN THE WIND.

Please Pray for My Sister Mary Lou

Tonight, I simply ask you to pray for my sister. Many of you know that she will be having surgery at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning, to remove a brain tumor. The surgery is supposed to last about 3 hours. Our other sister from California and I, will both be flying to Pittsburgh tomorrow, to be with our sister. We will stay a week with her on this trip.

I know that our God is able. Please, just pray for Lou and her family during this time. Pray for wisdom for the doctors and that every single hand that touches our sister is directed by God's leading. Pray for safe travel for my sister and myself as we fly out tomorrow.

Thank you all for your love, your support and concern during this difficult time for all of us. For those of you who would, her hearts desire is to receive enough cards to cover her huge dining room wall and windows. I have left her address on my SS room board and the church office has it as well if you feel led to send her a card.

I love you all and will continue blogging while I am there to keep those of you who are concerned, posted. May the blessings of God be upon you all and again, thank you for storming the gates of heaven on behalf of my sister.

"... for all things are possible with God."
Mark 10:27

I'm Like a Tree!

"But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the mercy of God
forever and ever." Psalms 52:8

Olive trees endure. They continue to produce fruit even after hundreds of years. They remind me of the solid saints we see in our church, who after many years of trials, hardships, joys and sorrows...endure because they trust in the mercy of their mighty God and yet, they continue to produce wonderful fruit. They stand solid in their faith, enduring the test of time and weather because they know the Source of their strength and the fruit flows.

I want to be an enduring tree in the house of God. I want to continue to shed fruit from my branches, all to the glory of God.

"God, help me continue to produce fruit, sweet tasting fruit that honors You. I need You Lord, every second I breath, I need You to sustain me. I cannot make it without You."

JESUS SAVES!

Tonight as our choir sang this song, my heart ached for the millions of souls across this globe that need Jesus...that don't either "want" to know Him or who have never heard about Him.

JESUS SAVES.....JESUS SAVES.......JESUS SAVES!!!!

"See the humblest hearts adore Him, JESUS SAVES...JESUS SAVES
And the wisest bow before Him, JESUS SAVES....JESUS SAVES
See the sky alive with praise, melting darkness in its blaze
There is light forever more in JESUS SAVES"

Lord Jesus, for the lost, tonight we pray. We pray their eyes would be opened. Time is short, life is short, the time is now. Oh God, please save not only those whom I love with all my heart but those whom I shall never meet across this world. My heart is heavy Father....they need You.

"that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."
Romans 10:9

One Breath Away...

With a heavy heart but with faith in my Lord Jesus, I write this tonight.

Just a short time ago, I got one of those phone calls that you always dread.
My middle sister, Mary Lou, was diagnosed only hours ago with "glioblastoma," a form of very aggressive brain cancer. She simply went to the doctor today because she was having blurry vision and problems with her memory. Upon an immediate CT scan, the large tumor loomed on the brain scan. She was sent immediately to the hospital and by tonights end, the diagnosis is in.

Please, I ask you to pray for my sister and her family. They will do surgery Tuesday, trying to remove as much of the tumor as possible.

Tonight, I again realize how short life is....we are only ONE BREATH AWAY from our lives being turned upside down and our trust having to lie completely in our Lord.

Thank you for praying for my sister. Thank you sweet Jesus. Althought my heart absolutely aches, I trust You. You are all I have.

Flawed

This one word...

just this one...

describes my state.

Tonight, I am simply thankful for the blood of Jesus...

For without it, my FLAWED state would be hopeless.

Although I will remain FLAWED until death, I remain covered in His blood.

I am FLAWED and tonight, I am acutely aware of this. Dear God, I am

thankful that You receive me as Your own even in my imperfect state.....

For I am FLAWED.

Wondering

I'm wondering tonight.....

As each day dawns, decisions bombard us. Shouldn't there be some sort of rule that the older you get the smarter you should be about the mistakes you've made in the past and choose NOT to make them again? Wouldn't you think that some bright light should come on in the head of someone who has made the same mistake over and over and possibly, over again, NOT to do what it is they're about to do again??? It seems so, doesn't it?

But daily, we know, we hear about or we read about people who are choosing to travel the same old path AGAIN. You know, that same one that led to no where, that brought nothing but sadness and that was a dead end filled with pain. Why is it we often choose to do whatever it is that we've always done before even IF we know it brought us pain in the past? Somehow, we think we are fooling our own selves into thinking that THIS time will be different....THIS time there will be success. And then, we end up hurt again.

I love the saying...."IF you always do what you've always done then you'll always get what you've always got." How true is that???? Think about it.

When will we wake up and see "The Light" and let HIM show the way? How many times will we muddle up our lives by not following Him before we wake up to realize that we have blown it again???? When important life changing decisions come our way, we must learn to consult the One who knows which path it is we should be traveling. IF that doesn't make sense to you, then I'm guessing you're probably on the wrong path again!

Phillipians 2:21 says...
"For they all seek after their own interests, not those of Christ Jesus."

This is one verse I do NOT want said of me. Our "interest" should be in seeking direction to all of those life-changing decisions we must make....NOT our OWN direction but the direction of God Almighty.

Just wondering......