The heart of Christ is for me to know Him better.
To know Him better, my mind and heart must be emptied of that which is not pleasing to Him.
My flesh screams at me and reminds me of the pain almost constantly. I don't want to let go of the junk and filth that revile my body and soul. It feels good to my flesh, it's comfortable and I wear it like I wear an old robe. Some of the junk in my life has been there so long that to shed it off would seem like more than I could bear. It's just too comfortable to let go of....but....
I want to be more like Him...I want to....I want to....but I'm afraid to let go of that comfortable cloak of filth that covers me up and keeps me feeling secure. I want to, I want to, I want to.
With each challenge, with each trial, with each test, I pull my cloak of filth around me tighter. I want to throw it off of myself and be purged from within but that would mean I'd have to leave myself behind and trust Him completely. That would mean that I would stand before Him, exposed and open to all that I really am.
PURGE ME, O GOD....help me to drop my cloak and stop trying to hide what you already know lies under it. Help me to be purged from within and without so that I may look more like You.
I want to look like You Lord. I want to let go and not remain clothed in this filth.
I want to.....I want to.
the solitary
9 years ago
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