Feeling Normal....

I have just finished reading Debbie S. and Angel R.'s blogs. Normally, I don't read anyone else's blogs just before I blog myself so as not to be influenced or be redundant of what someone else has said. But tonight, I must say, they both blessed my heart and I've just got to comment.

Debbie S. admitted some hidden truths. NO, they weren't anything of the "OMG CALL THE LAW" type or anything....just small stuff. But the "stuff" she admitted are things we all tend to hide or say don't bother us or deny that we do. Again, nothing horrible or anything, just small, even silly stuff, but truths about ourselves that we often don't want to divulge. I saw myself in what she wrote and it felt good.....you know....good like how it feels when you climb into bed between fresh newly washed sheets and pull your favorite soft blanket up over you. THAT kind of good.

And then there was Angel R.'s blog, filled with "what if's" about 2010. She blessed my heart with her boldness regarding her children and her yearning for more of Christ and what could happen if she spent more time eating His Manna. Gosh, it was good.

After reading their blogs, I'm FEELING NORMAL, which doesn't happen often for me!! FEELING NORMAL seems to be something I've never really strived for as I've always felt since I was a child that I "marched to the beat of a different drummer." I didn't want to look like or be like everyone else, I just wanted to be myself. I didn't care if I fit in or not, I just wanted to be me. I'm not sure who that drummer is or what he believed, but I KNEW he was, well......different and so am I. But tonight, for a few moments, I'm FEELING NORMAL and for a few minutes, it felt rather good to "fit in" with others who are "different" and have some of the same thoughts, feelings and hidden stuff just like me.

Thanks ladies....it felt good to be normal for a few moments! LOVE YOU BOTH!

There Is an Unseen Danger

Those of you who know me well, know that it is barely within my capabilities to think of any animal being killed.....and I DO mean, almost any animal. I don't know why and I refuse to try to explain it to those who do not understand me. It is as I have always been, all my life, an animal lover.

And so it is, that I find myself living in a house with a wonderful backyard that is overrunning with squirrels. I love watching them and nearly had one trained (at Mary's desire) to come within a couple feet of me for a peanut this past summer. But now, here we are with WAY too many squirrel nests, appearance of nesting in our attic, a "squirrel proof" bird feeder nearly ruined by their gnawing and little holes dug everywhere, including Darrel's tomato plants AND my orange trees. Even I, am not believing that I have agreed with Darrel that the squirrels have got to go. It still even seems very odd and sad feeling in my heart that I could/would say that, but it is true.

Darrel has been on high alert, watching for squirrels, sneaking out the front door and tiptoeing around to the back for a sneak attack. It was as I watched him creep around the back that I thought about this blog. "THERE IS AN UNSEEN DANGER," I thought, and the unsuspecting squirrels don't even know he's coming.

We may have the keenest eyesight on the planet, our hearing may be ultrasonic and our senses more perceptive than the smartest squirrel, but...

THERE IS AN UNSEEN DANGER.

It lurks behind every bush, hides in every corner and waits as long as is necessary to slay the unknowing. For the squirrels, the dangers name is Darrel, but for us....

His name is satan, the devil, beelzebub. He walks gently, quietly choosing the path of his steps to his unsuspecting victim. He preys on the weak, the lonely, the secure, the proud, the content. He waits and he watches until the moment is right, till the guard of his prey is let down and then he lurches with claws of steel and teeth of diamond sharpness. His grip is relentless and his intentions purposeful. He will attack and attack and attack.

THERE IS AN UNSEEN DANGER.......and he is lurking even now.

It's Not for Me to Question Why

As I prayed for my sister today, I found myself saying the above words..."IT'S NOT FOR ME TO QUESTION WHY." But, still, I do. I know God is in control, but I am flesh and my mind wishes I could understand it all on this side of heaven.

Tonight, I ask those few of you who read these postings, to continue to pray for my sister. She will begin chemo a week from today, January 4. The radiation will begin the following day and it is my understanding at this moment that it will continue daily for 6-8 weeks.

IT'S NOT FOR ME TO QUESTION WHY but it IS for me to pray. I humbly ask those who read this, to do the same, if I may so humbly ask. Thank you and may God bless you. Also, thank you to Donna Y. for inquiring about my sister and asking for updates to be posted here. Thank you to all of you who love me and care about my family. I cherish you.

His Bible Cover

"I can't wait till it gets dark so I can go to bed and get up and go to church with my new BIBLE COVER."

Precious words spoken by my 6 year old grandson. I can see him in his home today, deciding what he was going to carry within the cover. His little tablet with pen, of course, had to go inside and whatever else he may have decided was most important for him to carry in it.

HIS BIBLE COVER brought a smile to his face that I shall long treasure. When he opened it yesterday, the grin stretched across his darling face....."It's what I wanted Yaya...remember when I told you??"

As millions of gifts were opened across this country yesterday and probably many many millions of dollars spent, one little boy was thrilled with HIS BIBLE COVER.

How wonderful that one little boy could be so thrilled with something so insignificant.

My heart is full.

It is Better to Give than to Get

These words, spoken by my 9 year old granddaughter, are truly the heart of the matter as this Christmas day comes to a close.

I pray that the Lord has found my giving worthy of Him. I pray that I have thought enough of Christ and His passionate love for me, that I gave deeply and sincerely and in His honor.

My heart grieves for those who are hungry, cold and alone, not just in this season, but always. God, I pray your sufficiency on those who need you most.

Truly, IT IS BETTER THAN TO GIVE THAN TO GET. Burden me Father so that I give freely of all that You have given me.

Seek, Save and Serve

He came here to SEEK, SAVE AND SERVE the lost, the hungry, the proud, the rich, the weak, the poor, the lonely, the black man, the scared, the selfish, the asian child, the intelligent, the sick, the white woman, the diseased, the young, the dumb, the old......

His mission was simple, unobtrusive, sometimes even unnoticed but His mission was purpose driven. His intent was focused on one thing....His Father and doing His will.

'Selflessly' He sought out those who needed Him AND those who didn't think they did. 'Boldly' He sought out the lost who had no hope of heaven because of their separation from Christ. 'Willingly' He served all He came in contact with. It was what drove Him. He humbled Himself.....this man who would later walk the road to Calvary in my place, humbled Himself for all.

SEEK, SAVE AND SERVE........This humble man of earth and heaven has changed me this year. He's forced me into corners I did not want to hide in, I would have chosen other places to run to, but He gave me little choice. He had already chosen it for me. He's shown me more about Him than I can even comprehend. It will take me many months to continue to chew on all that He has thrown at me, but it was all in His plan.

I'm thankful this sweet baby whom we call Jesus, came to SEEK, SAVE AND SERVE. He knew my name even then. Even as His first cries broke the silence of the night, my name was on His mind. As Mary hushed his tiny cry and drew Him to her breast, somewhere, all of us were on the mind of this little one. He would grow to accomplish His Father's will....to SEEK, SAVE AND SERVE. GLORY TO HIS NAME!

Their Names....

DJ & Sheryl, Butch & Kay, Summer & Dale, Coleby, Kyle, Blake, Charlie, Bradlie, Natalie, Ashley, Kayla, Lindsey, Amber, Madison, Butch, Karli, Easton, Titus and Will.

These are THEIR NAMES.....

These are the ones who my mind is stayed on.....these are THEIR NAMES...my children, their spouses and all my grandchildren. These names represent my life, who I am, what defines me....woman, wife, mother, grandmother.

Every single day of the year, their names are in my heart and on my mind but especially at this time of year, a yearning deep inside consumes me with love and deep emotion for each of them. Some, I have not seen for many years and I grieve the loss of them in my life.

These are THEIR NAMES. I love them so but more than anything, I wish them Jesus this Christmas season.

Checkin' It Twice

If you're even a little like me, that phrase always makes us think of one thing......

Santa Claus and his infamous list.

But right now, less than a week away from the day we celebrate the giving of Jesus to the world, I'm checkin' a list alright, but it isn't Santa's.

There are a couple of things bothering me this season, issues of my own, issues that I need to get resolved in my heart. How can I worship Him completely when a little piece of my heart is not right where it should be with Him? I'm stewing about a couple of issues that I'm trying to resolve.....that's why I'm doing some checkin' but it's not Santa's list........

It's the list of junk that I hold on to, not wanting to let go of. It's the junk that should be gone but resurfaces loudly sometimes. It raises up its' ugliness and taunts me till I give in to it.

I'm CHECKIN' IT TWICE right now......my heart, my mind, my thoughts. In reality, I should be checkin' that list daily. I'm sick of this same old stuff still being on the list. It's time to cross some things off.

Holy Ground

"This is HOLY GROUND....
We're standing on HOLY GROUND....
For the Lord is here....
And where He is, is holy....
This is HOLY GROUND....
We're standing on HOLY GROUND
For the Lord is here.....
And where He is, is holy."

THIS worship song describes how I felt as I stepped out of my car last night when I went to church. After being gone for a week, away from my church and my church family, I was overcome as I walked onto what I feel, is HOLY GROUND. By the time I hit the foyer doors, the tears began to flow. I hugged a couple people, looked for Debbie S to hug me through, but headed to the bathroom when I couldn't find her. The tears began and I couldn't contain it. I was just so thankful to be amongst Believers who love and serve a holy God, as I. There just don't seem to be appropriate words for the emotions that fell out of my heart as I walked on the precious HOLY GROUND of our church. How grateful I was when Dayle M. found me in the bathroom. She did what all fellow Believers do....she hugged me, encouraged me, loved on me and showed me Jesus.

HOLY GROUND.....we do not appreciate what we share in Christ until it is outside of our reach, our touch, our ears.

I sing praises to the King of All tonight for His people here in this county. Oh how I missed you all and oh how fortunate I am to be a part of RRC fellowship.
HOLY GROUND......thanking YOU GOD, for where YOU are, is HOLY.

We Can't Go Back

Today, my sisters and I recreated a scenario that happened some 52 or so years ago....

The three of us took a picture with Santa at the mall! YEP....we placed ourselves in the picture just as we had been 50 something years ago (as you see in this OLD picture!!!) and had our picture made! What a precious memory this will be in the years ahead of us.

But today, I thought....

WE CAN'T GO BACK to those days when we were 4, 9 & 11. Those days of innocence, unacountability and those days of ignorance, too, are now gone. I didn't know much then, after all, I was only 4, but now, at 56, I am accountable and aware of my life, my actions, my words, my living and my giving.

What is most important now, is most certainly, not what was most important to me back then. For back then, MYSELF was what was most important. But now....I see through different eyes.

I see now, through the eyes of my Savior, my Lord, my King....MY JESUS. The One who died for me. Everything is different now. My life belongs to Him, not to me.

WE CAN'T GO BACK, I thought today....WE CAN'T GO BACK. Those years are gone, they are but a memory to us all. Forward is the only direction we can go and all I know to say is that I am so thankful that "in the going forward" in my life, I go with My Jesus.